Philemon 8-16

⁸ Wherefore, though I might be much bold in Christ to enjoin thee that which is convenient, ⁹ Yet for love’s sake I rather beseech thee, being such an one as Paul the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ. ¹⁰ I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds: ¹¹ Which in time past was to thee unprofitable, but now profitable to thee and to me: ¹² Whom I have sent again: thou therefore receive him, that is, mine own bowels: ¹³ Whom I would have retained with me, that in thy stead he might have ministered unto me in the bonds of the gospel: ¹⁴ But without thy mind would I do nothing; that thy benefit should not be as it were of necessity, but willingly. ¹⁵ For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever; ¹⁶ Not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved, specially to me, but how much more unto thee, both in the flesh, and in the Lord?

The story is told by someone about Marghanita Laski who was a secular humanist and novelist of the last century. Just before she died in 1988, she said in an interview, “What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness; I have nobody to forgive me.” Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel. It is essential to salvation. Every human being has sinned against the sovereign and holy Creator of the universe. We have committed, as some would say, “cosmic treason.” We have sinned against an infinite, eternal Being whose power, authority, and glory transcend all that is. We have done so countless times and we have a nature and disposition that are hostile to Him. Yet, in His love, God has provided for our salvation from our sin and His wrath for that sin. He sent His Son into the world to die in our place and to take the wrath and punishment for our sin that we might instead receive from Him forgiveness, eternal life, and adoption into His family. We must simply put our faith and trust in His Son. In following His Son, He calls us to forgive one another as He has us forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13). Forgiveness essentially involves the releasing of someone from a debt (the Greek word aphiemi). It also involves the showing of grace (the Greek word charizo). Forgiveness is loosing someone from a debt they owe us and it is instead showing them goodness in exchange. In the letter to Philemon, the Apostle Paul appealed to his brother in Christ, Philemon, to forgive his runaway slave, Onesimus. In the middle portion of this letter (v. 8-16), he highlighted Philemon’s love and Onesimus’s newfound faith and transformed life in Christ. In this portion of Scripture, we can draw four essential marks of true forgiveness. We looked at the first two last week; that we are to forgive humbly and forgive truthfully. This week we will examine the other two.

The third mark of Christian forgiveness is willingness. We are to forgive willingly. Forgiveness, like true Christian love, is an act of the will, not a mere feeling or emotion. Our forgiveness must not come from external compulsion, but from a decision of the heart prompted by the Spirit and Word of God. Otherwise, it is not true forgiveness, but some form of outward conformity. There is a type of confrontation and correction that simply demands submission. It is possible to force two Christians in a room to work out their differences and forgive to be reconciled. That may be needed and it can work from time to time, but it is difficult to know that genuine forgiveness and reconciliation have taken place in such a case. True forgiveness is done willingly, from the heart and not by compulsion. In verses 13-14, Paul told Philemon that, despite how useful Onesimus had proven himself to be to Paul personally in ministry, he sent him back to his master. The reason for this was because of two reasons. First, Onesimus was still Philemon’s slave and he had wronged his master. It wasn’t enough for Paul to write to Philemon. Onesimus had to return and make right with his master. It is amazing that Onesimus would hand deliver this letter to his master. He would willingly go back and accept whatever consequences would come from his master for all that he had done to him. This took place long before the telephone. Philemon had no news of this prior to him eventually receiving the letter. Imagine the shock when his slave walked up to him for that first time since running away and handing him this letter from his friend, Paul. The reason that Paul sent Onesimus back and appealed to Philemon on the basis of love (“for love’s sake”) rather than an authoritative command is so that Philemon’s “benefit” (good deed) of receiving his slave back and forgiving him would not be done from “necessity” (compulsion or force), but “willingly.” Paul wanted Philemon’s godly character and love for Christ to show through in the matter. There is a time to compel people to comply, but wherever there is opportunity for genuine, free, and willful obedience from the heart, we should encourage it. Just as God freely forgave us in Christ and was not compelled by anything outside of Himself, so this letter teaches us that an aspect of true forgiveness is that it must be done willingly from the heart.

The fourth mark of Christian forgiveness is completeness. We are to forgive completely. This mark describes Christian forgiveness resulting in the offending party being treated by the offender as if they had never committed the offense to begin with. God has demonstrated this in the greatest way by cancelling our debt because it was paid for by His Son. He treated Jesus as if He were responsible for our sin and, in exchange, treats the believer as if we had never sinned against Him at all. He treats us as sons and daughters. This is not “forgive and forget.” It is so much greater. God is omniscient and knows all of our sin: past, present, and future. When God promises, “I will remember their sin no more” (Jeremiah 31:34), it is not that He “forgets” or else He would no longer be God because God is omniscient. Instead, it means that God does not call our sins to mind when it comes to how He treats us. This is greater than forgetting because, despite how much we have sinned against Him, He loves us and receives us through His Son. Paul put the situation in light of God’s providence. His desire was to see Philemon not only forgive and restore, but go beyond to receive Onesimus as he truly was in Christ, “a brother beloved.” In the body of Christ, our forgiveness is not partial; it must be complete because God’s forgiveness in Christ is complete toward us. The basis for this is that nothing someone could do to us could begin to compare to what it means for us to commit one sin against God. God forgiving just one sin, let alone all our sin completely in Christ, far outweighs us forgiving a lifetime of wrongs committed by others against us (as illustrated in Matthew 18:21-35). Why? Because God is an infinitely greater Being than we are.  Therefore, the offenses against Him are infinitely greater. If He has forgiven us completely in Christ, we have no reason for not doing the same for any offense against us.

True forgiveness must be understood in light of the gospel. In fact, apart from the gospel a person cannot understand nor exercise true forgiveness toward another person. Perhaps the reason some of us struggle with forgiveness is because we have never truly come to know God’s grace and forgiveness toward sinners in Christ (Matthew 6:12, 14-15). It is one thing to articulate and intellectually understand grace and forgiveness. It is quite another to be transformed by it. Are you forgiving? Is there someone you need to forgive? Is there someone who has repented and reached out to you that you have refused to forgive? Forgive humbly. Forgive truthfully. Forgive willingly. Forgive completely.