Philemon 8-16

⁸ Wherefore, though I might be much bold in Christ to enjoin thee that which is convenient, ⁹ Yet for love’s sake I rather beseech thee, being such an one as Paul the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ. ¹⁰ I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds: ¹¹ Which in time past was to thee unprofitable, but now profitable to thee and to me: ¹² Whom I have sent again: thou therefore receive him, that is, mine own bowels: ¹³ Whom I would have retained with me, that in thy stead he might have ministered unto me in the bonds of the gospel: ¹⁴ But without thy mind would I do nothing; that thy benefit should not be as it were of necessity, but willingly. ¹⁵ For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever; ¹⁶ Not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved, specially to me, but how much more unto thee, both in the flesh, and in the Lord?

Forgiveness. It’s a word that is very much associated with the Christian faith. It is at the heart of the gospel message and its calling for Christian character. It is a word that we have become all too familiar with in the body of Christ, perhaps to the point of misunderstanding it altogether. What is forgiveness? It comes from the Greek word aphiemi which means “to release.” It was a term used in accounting and business to describe the releasing of debt. The word came to describe the absolving of a debt owed by a sinner for sin. Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). Another word that is often translated forgiveness is the Greek word charizo which means “to give grace.” This completes the other side of forgiveness. Colossians 2:13 uses the word and says, “And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses.” It described not only the cancelling of debts owed, but the restoration and benefits of renewed relationship. What does it look like to have forgiveness lived out in the relationships of everyday life? God has provided answers to these questions in His Word. The letter of Philemon, though the shortest of Paul’s letters in length, serves to teach us how to live the gospel out in relationship to one another in the body of Christ. Its core theme is forgiveness. Paul wrote this letter nearly two thousand years ago to his friend and brother in the faith, Philemon, who had a slave named Onesimus run away from him. In the providence of God, Paul encountered this slave during his Roman imprisonment and led him to faith in Christ. The letter of Philemon was written by Paul to Philemon requesting of him to forgive and receive the runaway slave who had so wronged his master. In the middle portion of the letter (Philemon 8-16), we learn four essential marks of how Christians are to forgive as Christ as forgiven us. This week, we will examine the first two of those marks.

The first mark of Christian forgiveness is humility. We are to forgive humbly. True forgiveness is always accompanied by a spirit, or attitude, of humility. Humility flows naturally from the heart and life of someone who has been transformed by the grace of God. It is essential to forgiveness because, before we can forgive others, we must recognize that we are in need of forgiveness for an unpayable debt that we owe to our Creator for our sin. A person who understands that and has felt the weight of that is naturally made humble before God. They are “poor in spirit” (Matthew 5:3). In verses 8-9 of Philemon, Paul begins with the word “Wherefore” which refers back to verses 1-7 and, particularly, Paul commending the character of Philemon as being refreshing to the people of God. Since Philemon exhibited true faith and love for God and His people, Paul then wrote his request “for love’s sake.” Since Paul loved Philemon and Philemon loved Paul, God, and His people, his request could be made on the basis of that love. Paul identified himself in verse 9 as “the aged” which essentially described him as a sort of grandfather in the faith at that point. He had been around and seen a lot. Paul’s entire appeal was on the basis of humility, Philemon’s demonstrated humility as a Christian. Christian love, is above all things, humble. It “suffereth long, and is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). It “envieth not;” “vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). All of those qualities that describe love, define humility. If we are going to forgive, we do so humbly. Those who have been forgiven are humble people.

The second mark of true forgiveness is truthfulness or genuineness. We are to forgive truthfully. What does it mean to forgive truthfully? It involves two components. First, it involves proper motivation. Paul appealed to Philemon on the basis of love. He knew that Philemon loved him and had demonstrated a love for God and His people. Therefore, he trusted that what he asked Philemon to do would be done from that correct motive. The second component involved in forgiving truthfully, which is necessary for reconciliation and restoration, is repentance. Paul wrote on the basis, not only of Philemon’s demonstrated love, but also of Onesimus’s newfound repentance and demonstrated new character in Christ. The name Onesimus means “useful,” but he had previously shown himself to be “unprofitable” (or un-useful) to his master by running away and robbing him. However, Paul assured Philemon of Onesimus’s new character (2 Corinthians 5:17) as one who had shown himself to be “profitable” and live up to his name. Forgiveness does not involve a winking at sin or ignoring of sin. Repentance is an essential part of the gospel and of Christian forgiveness. We are to demonstrate a forgiving disposition and attitude regardless, but in order for true reconciliation and restoration to take place, repentance must also take place. We are obligated to treat others with love when they have sinned against us regardless of the wrongs done, but in order for them to be obedient to God and be truly reconciled to us, there must be repentance. It is for this reason that Paul sent Onesimus back instead of keeping him (v. 12). Onesimus had to make right with his master. Some people sin and demand forgiveness from others. That is not biblical. A truly repentant person humbles themselves and then they are willing to go to the person and accept whatever consequences may come (Psalm 51:3-4). They no longer explain themselves or excuse their sin. Instead, they are willing to accept the consequences and even make restitution if possible. Restitution itself does not buy or earn forgiveness any more than our good works merit God’s forgiveness or atone for sin. However, just as good works are a fruit of salvation, so restitution can be a fruit of true repentance. A good example of this in Scripture is Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10). When he came to know Christ and experience salvation, the only natural response was for him to repent for the wrongs he had done. He was so overwhelmed by God’s grace in his life that he was willing to restore fourfold to those he had wronged. His repentance was genuine. Paul sent Onesimus back to that end and, as we will see later in verses 17-25, was willing to personally absorb any debts owed. He did all of this so that Philemon might be able to forgive Onesimus in truth. Onesimus was a changed man and was willing to return home and face his master. Paul didn’t just write a letter and tell Philemon to forgive his slave without the two ever reconciling. They didn’t both just forget the matter and go about life. They came together. Likewise, we must forgive truthfully.

Perhaps there is someone in your life you need to forgive. Maybe they have wronged you terribly. Have you gone to them (Matthew 18:15-18)? If they’ve come to you with a less than perfect response, have you been harsh to them about it? Maybe there is someone you have wronged. Perhaps the Spirit of God has pricked your conscience about something you have done to someone. It does not matter whether they have expressed it to you. Maybe you’ve wronged someone and they don’t even know about it. You must turn to the Lord in confession first and then seek forgiveness from them. Humility and truthfulness are key. We must forgive humbly and forgive truthfully.