Ephesians 4:29-32
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Last week, we began a three-part message on answering the question, “How should the Church behave?” as a part of our sermon series on the Church called, The House of God. In Ephesians 4-6, the Apostle Paul lays out the practical outworking of salvation in Jesus Christ and how Christians are called to “walk worthy” of their calling in Him. In Ephesians 4:17-24, he teaches about the new person that believers have become by having put off “the old man” and put on “the new man.” Believers are new creatures in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). What does that look like? What difference does that make when the Church does life together? In Ephesians 4:25-5:8, he provides seven things that believers are called to do as a part of their new life in Christ. Last week, we identified the first three. Believers are called to speak truthfully, avoid bitterness, and live honestly. This week, we will examine two more.
The fourth word of instruction that Paul provides in this passage is to speak wholesomely. Do people know that we are Christians by how we talk? “Corrupt communication” is another element from our old lives before Christ. The word “corrupt” is used to describe rotten food. Here, it is used to describe foul and harmful speech. Off-color jokes, profanity, dirty stories, and vulgarity have no place in our conversation. Additionally, all grumbling, complaining, and murmuring are marks of the old life and evidences of spiritual immaturity (Philippians 2:14-16). Instead, we should have speech that is known as “edifying” and that ministers “grace” to those that hear. “Edifying” refers back to Ephesians 4:11-16, when the instruction of the Word of God is used to edify, or build up, the Church. We should speak the truth, but do so in love. “Grace” provides a helpful boundary on our speech. We should avoid extremes of never saying anything and saying too much. John MacArthur well says, “Raw truth is seldom appropriate and is often destructive. We are saved in grace and we are kept in grace; therefore we are to live and speak in grace.” We should look to speak in a helpful and timely way. Proverbs 15:23 says, “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!” The tongue is used in Scripture as a test of what resides in our hearts. Jesus said, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). The Psalmist prayed, “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3). Grieving the Holy Spirit is directly connected here with how we use our tongues, even though it could be connected with the entire set of instructions Paul gives. To lie (Ephesians 4:25) or to speak with corrupt language is to “grieve,” or sadden, the Holy Spirit who lives in us and is actively preserving us in God’s family until Christ returns for us.
The fifth thing that Paul instructs believers to do as a part of their new life in Christ is to model kindness. In order to be kind, we must remove “all bitterness, and wrath, and clamour, and evil speaking…with all malice.” Bitterness describes a grudge-filled attitude toward someone else. “Wrath” describes an outburst of anger and “anger” describes prolonged, internal anger. “Clamour” describes shouting and “evil speaking” (Greek blasfemia) describes blasphemy or misusing God’s name. “Malice” refers to “evil” in general. Paul calls us to make these things, things of the past. The opposite of all of these dispositions is that of kindness. The call to “be ye kind” here is a call to do good and be gracious to one another. The word “kind” is chrestos in Greek and describes good intentions and graciousness towards others. A part of kindness is being “tenderhearted” which comes from a word referring to the bowels of a person. It describes a compassionate heart that empathizes and sympathizes with others. Another part of kindness is forgiveness. We are to continually be “forgiving one another.” Inevitably, when sinners come together wrongs will be committed and feelings will be heart. We are to forgive one another as we have been forgiven. One of the greatest signs we have experienced and been recipients of God’s grace is if we extend grace and forgiveness readily to others. Having been saved and forgiven by God’s grace in Christ, believers should model kindness.
Believers are called to be different than the lost world around us because our lives have been forever changed. That impacts our behavior, our speech, our relationships, and our attitude toward others. What do people know about me and my Savior by how I speak? Am I kind, gracious, and forgiving to those around me and in the body of Christ?